Mick met Paddy in the street and said "Paddy will you draw the curtains before your shagging your wife in future ?"
'Bejaysus Why ?' says Paddy
"Because the whole street was laughing at you when they saw you shagging your wife yesterday!"
Paddy said ' Stupid bastards! the laughs on them.....I wasnt home yesterday!'
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Husband ' Lets try the missionary position'
Wife: 'Ok, what do we do ?'
Husband: ' I stay here and you fuck off to Africa!'
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A visitor to a mental institution asked the Director how he decided which patients he kept in.
The Director said' We fill up a bath, then offer the patient a teaspoon,teacup or bucket and ask them to empty the bath'
The visitor said' Oh I see, a normal person would use the bucket because its the biggest'
The Director said ' No, a normal person would pull the fucking plug out! Would you like a bed near the window ?'
