A chemist owner walks into his shop to find a guy leaning againts a wall. He asks his assistant , whats with the guy over there by the wall? the assistant replies he came into get something for his cough and i couldn't find any cough syrup so i gave him an entire bottle of laxitive.................U fucking idiot replied the owner u cant treat a cough with a bottle of laxitive!..The assistant replied ..course u can, fuckin look at him, he is shit scared to cough now !!!!!
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Little girl finds her dog dead with its legs in the air and asks her dad why its like that,,,, Dad say's its dead and is like that so Jesus can pick it up and take it to heaven..Next day she say's dad, mum nearly died today, she was on her back with her legs in the air shouting oh Jesus, I'm coming, I'm coming and if the milkman hadn't been holding her down we'd have lost her !!!!
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Paddys wedding night,
his new bride was lying spread eagled on the bed, she said, you know what i want paddy,
paddy replies all the f**king bed by the looks of it,
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a bloke in a posh hotel, was bursting for the loo finds the gents out of order, so rushed into the ladies, he sits down and notices 4 buttons, WW, WA, PP, AND ATR,
he presses WW and he is sprayed with warm water
he then presses WA and a blast of warm air dries him,
then pressed PP, powder puffed him, which left him smelling sweet and fresh,
he then presses APR. AND WAKES UP IN HOSPITAL
he asked the nurse what happened, she replied
you pressed APR that is automatic tampon removal, your dicks under you pillow,
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