Two Antenna's met on a roof,
fell in love and got married
The ceremony was crap
but the reception was excellent!
******
An invisible man married an invisible woman,
Their kids were nothing to look at either!
******
After speaking to the passengers, Pilot forgets to turn the intercom off.
He says to the co-pilot "I am gonna have a shit then shag the arse of that new Air Hostess"
The Air Hostess runs up the aisle to warn the pilot that the intercoms still on but trips over
"No need to rush love" says an old lady "Hes having a shit first"
******
Just been to the Gym and there's a new machine been installed!
I only used it for an hour as I was feeling sick ! Its good though - It does everything! Kit Kats, mars bars,Snickers, crisps, nuts etc !!
******
Mr and Mrs Blobby are in bed
Mrs Blobby says ' bib blob bobble blub bibbly bob bubbly blib'
Mr Blobby says 'Just bloody swallow it!!'
******
A man charges into a bank wearing a mask and wielding a handgun
'This is a raid, everyone on the floor!' Then raids all the cash
A brave customer yanks off his mask, so the robber shoots him
'Anyone else see my face!!!??'
There was a silence for a few seconds before a man said
'think my missus caught a glimpse'
*******
Confucius say
'man with tool in woman's mouth
not necessarily dentist!'
*******
Confucius say
Woman who goes to mans flat for a snack
get titbit
*******
Alfie Patten, the 13 year old Dad has already joined
Fathers for Justice,
In an interview he said it makes sense really as he already has a spider man outfit.
*******
Undertaker to bereaved husband
'When did you notice your wife was dead?'
'Well' he replies' The sex was the same but the dishes were piling up!'
*****
Bloke has a sex change and mate asks if it hurt when they chopped his balls and cock off
'No' he replied ' but it did when they shrunk my brain and widened me gob!'
*****
