Raw Humour

> > A man boarded an aircraft at London Heathrow Airport 's
> > Terminal 5 for New York , and taking his seat as he settled
> > in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.
> > He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and
> > bingo - she took the seat right beside him.
> >
> > 'Hello', he blurted out, 'Business trip or
> > vacation?'
> >
> > She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, 'Business.
> > I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the
> > United States .'
> >
> > He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had
> > ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a
> > meeting for nymphomaniacs!
> >
> > Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,
> > 'What's your business role at this convention?'
> >
> > 'Lecturer,' she responded. 'I use my experience
> > to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.'
> >
> > 'Really', he smiled, 'what myths are
> > those?'
> >
> > 'Well,' she explained, 'one popular myth is
> > that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in
> > fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely
> > to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French
> > men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of
> > Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential
> > lovers in all categories are the Irish.'
> >
> > Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed.
> > 'I'm sorry,' she said 'I really
> > shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even
> > know your name!'
> >
> > 'Tonto,' the man said. 'Tonto Papadopoulos, but
> > my friends call me Paddy.

A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.

Officer: May I see your licence?

Lady: what does it look like?

Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.

The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.

The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'