* **In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point.  The question was where
do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, the correct answer is Africa

One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that blacks and scousers is not the correct answer

I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPad
after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter, called "Oh,
She's Eleven."

My wife told me I was no longer romantic so I booked a table for the two of
us on Valentine's Night.  Turns out she's really crap at snooker

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in  Manchester but I've been banned
from there after asking to look at some bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive
slowly past schools

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I
said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Oh that's easy, Derek's got a

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard
who drinks a lot and his wife Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."*